Information for New Visitors

New visitors to the blog: The posts you will be interested in are the ones that begin with #.) (e.g., "5.) The Manifesto on Things that Go Great Together"). Thanks for visiting. I hope to have some new, interesting posts soon.

~Xavier Yes and the Manifesto Team

The Manifesto's Mass Media Memoir: Semi-Decent

Have you ever heard anyone say that media are unimportant, that they have no place in our modern world? If you have, you are clearly talking to the wrong people, and probably should get some more informed friends. Because media are important, and are one of the most influential driving forces behind virtually everything that happens in the world today. Universal, ubiquitous, and unavoidable are the three U’s of media. If you’re reading this on my blog, you are clearly familiar with how to use the Internet. You have the brain power and sensory capability to appreciate this particular medium (i.e., the blogosphere), and are most likely literate. (If I have made an unfair assumption of your literary prowess, may I suggest you first become familiar with the letters G, E, and D?) Media take all kinds of different forms, from ink on wood pulp to virtual amalgamations of letters and images. Within the last decade, numerous new media have sprung up, “from blogs and podcasts to social networking and digital filmmaking” (Media & Culture vii). In this time of media mayhem, while we are deciding if we would rather save the trees or the seventeen hours we spend online every day, how can we know where we fit in? Simple: We follow mass media’s lead and write about it.

...And after the generous philanthropists kindly rid the Amazon of all those meddlesome trees, we grind them to a pulp, liquidate them, flatten them out, and make textbooks.

(Image courtesy of http://johnsteins.com/etching-press.html)

As you are most likely reading this online, the Internet is probably the best place to start. The list of what can be said about the Internet is absolutely infinite, but since Google has an 89% share in infinity, I’ll have to be more creative. As most people with access to the Information Superhighway (remember that phrase?) know, the Net has nearly boundless possibilities. With it, “we can listen to a radio talk show, watch a movie, or download a favorite song” (Media & Culture 9). The way people use these possibilities, however, generally comes in two shades – for personal or community benefit, or for invasive/seedy/downright, Grade-A creepy means. I tend to stay on the personal/community side. And by that I mean I spend at least an hour on Facebook every day. This morning, as I was climbing down from my loft, I heard what every single user of the superior computer (i.e., Apple) knows as the sound of incoming mail. That usually means Facebook action. Since this past June, I have received over 2,000 e-mail notifications from the social networking site. In comparison, I’ve received fewer than 800 e-mails from living people or corporate human imposters. So it’s a safe bet that somebody has done something related to me on Facebook. I immediately checked my account, which is open whenever the invasive means of gathering personal information I like to call Google Chrome is. Sure enough, someone had interacted with my profile. I don’t remember what happened or who it was, but that really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I have friends. 333 of them, to be exact. I don’t include my friends without accounts, as everyone knows you don’t exist unless you have Facebook. Besides interacting with Facebook, I also use the Internet to check my school e-mail, conduct research for projects, and, of course, blog.

No, he won't be your friend.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.allfacebook.com/yes-mark-zuckerberg-shares-his-profile-2009-12)

Blogging is “the biggest phenomenon in user-created content on the Internet” (Media & Culture 52). I have only been actively blogging for several months, though I had minor exposure in high school. I now independently operate four different blogs on two different hosts, and am a contributor on three more, also on two hosts. While blogging takes time, frequently time that I don’t have, I enjoy it hopefully as much as my readers do. Today, for example, I posted an update to my humor blog Pavlov’s Hair Conditioner, currently operating on WordPress. I have the blog linked to my Facebook account, so the new post automatically showed up on my profile. I also updated the blog’s Facebook page, with a link to “Procrastination Can Wait,” the new post. On Facebook I can see how many people interacted with the update (ninety-nine “Impressions” as of 9:00 tonight), how many unique hits I have had, and other bits of valuable information. For the blog itself, I have added hidden code to monitor interaction data. With this code, I can tell that I’ve had hits from five separate countries on three continents, that “Communopoly” is my most popular post, and that many friends from my old school are viewing the blog at their own colleges. Today I’ve also planned out several new posts to write. My blog – and blogs in general – is an excellent example of how connected the Internet is. Through Pavlov’s Hair Conditioner’s link to Facebook, people see updates on my profile and in their news feeds. Then it spreads to more sites, such as other blogs and search engines. Before long, my blog will be one of the most popular sites on the Web. And Ashton Kutcher will sing at my wedding.

Join the revolution.

(Logo from http://pavlovshairconditioner.wordpress.com/)

Before continuing, I’d like to take a moment to thank the good folks who made all this possible. To the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Chinese, Arabs, Italians, various monks, and Johannes Gutenberg, I give my sincere commendations. I know I’m half a millennium late at the least, but without you, none of this could have happened. I am, of course, referring to some of the people and civilizations who gave Ray Bradbury the idea for Fahrenheit 451 – and, indeed, who made books a reality. Books have played a huge role in the world’s history. Without them, Cuba would not enjoy a 99.8% literacy rate (www.nationmaster.com), we would have lived for centuries without decent ways of spreading new ideas, and J.K. Rowling would still be teaching in Portugal. And I would be out of a hobby. See, I’ve been collecting books almost since I was born, and currently have well over a thousand. At home, my room, the basement, and occasionally the garage are overflowing with my books. Here at college, I’ve got two bookshelves, books lining my windowsill, and books arranged on the floor. Besides having a hobby, I can hopefully make a living. I couldn’t very well study Professional Writing as a marketable major if we still wrote on clay tablets. Plus, “Internet-based publishing houses offer custom design and distribution for aspiring authors who want to self-publish a title” (Media & Culture 329). That’ll get me going. Today, I decided to read some of Philip Roth’s The Plot Against America. I generally have several books going at once, not because I think it’s a good idea, but because I lack the attention span to only read one book at a time.

Kindle... kindling.... Books... book burning!

(Photo courtesy of http://kindleport.com/)

Speaking of short attention spans, who’s ready to watch some television? While I don’t watch as much TV as a lot of people do (I prefer to spend my brain cells on the computer), there are some shows that I like. 30 Rock, Monk, House, Jeopardy!, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and MythBusters are among some of my favorites. Since I’ve been at college, I haven’t watched any of these save MythBusters. When I do watch my programs, it’s often on iTunes or from DVDs. Carrying the shows around with me on my computer is much more convenient than sitting in front of the telly and staring at the screen until something good comes on. I didn’t watch any TV programming today, though I may watch a show on my laptop later tonight. You know, as a reward for working through the day. I’ve seen some things on the tube that make me wish I could get that hour of my life back (*COUGH* Dr. Phil *COUGH*). But the one level to which I will not stoop is watching whiny, spoiled celebrities “interact” with equally whiny, spoiled former nobodies in the disturbingly popular form of mass conditioning known by the blatant misnomer “reality TV.” Some people don’t understand why I find Monty Python’s Flying Circus hilarious. My response to that would be, “I prefer non-fiction shows.” Because climbing a street, slapping people with fish, and firing elderly women out of submarine torpedo tubes really is non-fiction compared to what the well-dressed peddlers of toxic TV pass off as “reality.” I mean, I guess they’re real people in some sense of the phrase, but where’s the reality in living in “remote” locations and thinking democracy is voting people away? Reality shows became popular “by recycling old program ideas… by swiping concepts from European programmers… or just by stealing shows from each other” (Media & Culture 145). Does that sound like quality programming? No. In fact, because of the sheer petrification these mass-produced monstrosities have caused me, I did not watch television today, nor yesterday, nor the day before. As if the name Bridalplasty weren’t scary enough.

Yup. Definitely more realistic.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.squidoo.com/carnival-october-2009)

You know what’s even more frightening than reality TV? I don’t, either. But some Hollywood movies come pretty close. Along with the hordes of dedicated followers these movies create. I’d write about my love-hate relationship with Harry Potter, or my absolutely-no-love-but-definitely-stupefied-horror relationship with Twilight, but that’s already been the subject of at least three of my written pieces this semester. Instead, I will write about the probably more relevant relationship I have with movies in general. I’m not much of a moviegoer. In total, I’ve probably spent about $200 at the cinema, by which I mean I’ve seen maybe ten movies on the big screen. Something about sitting down for several hours and staring at a screen other than my computer just doesn’t appeal to me. I have, however, seen many more movies at home and at school. I like them; I just don’t seek them out. And, of course, I can’t deny that movies “have had a substantial social and cultural impact on society” (Media & Culture 213). The last movie I saw was a few days ago, when I laughed at Steve Martin and Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I also saw one or two movies over break. Today, I decided that I shall buy Clue from iTunes and watch that tomorrow night. I’ve seen it before, but it’s one of the few movies that I enjoy watching over and over. No movies today, though. Maybe I should instead tune into the…

Coming Summer 2013: Harry vs. Edward

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the bookstore...

(Photo courtesy of http://allaphoristic.blogspot.com/2010/06/why-harry-potter-is-better-than.html)

Radio. A wholly underappreciated medium. I’ve long been a fan of radio. I love several of our local stations, and have found others across the country that I also enjoy. Shortwave radio can also be entertaining. I’ve got a shortwave radio where I can tune into someone babbling in Foreign and laugh at how different they sound. I, um, don’t really do that. But it’s nice to know that I could. My MP3 player has a free web radio service that I listened to today. I’ve also got web TV, but I don’t watch that as often, although there was an Andorran government station that was fun to watch until men in blue tights started jumping around the screen. That was when I knew it was time to read a book. Ah, yes. Radio. One thing that I love about radio is that there are “more than forty different radio formats, plus variations, [that] serve diverse groups of listeners” (Media & Culture 129). Why is this important to me? Because I count as my own diverse group. I like music ranging from classical, blues, and alternative to Turkish pop and Swedish hip-hop. (All other forms of hip-hop are *pfff*.) Today, I’ve listened to some Santana and Jethro Tull, some jazz, and am currently listening to the aforementioned Swedish hip-hop. You know what this calls for?

"Movits!" is, um, more popular in Sweden.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.swedesplease.net/2010/02/18/sxsw-preview-movits/)

A good, old-fashioned discussion of the sound recording industry. I love music. In fact, I adore music. I set up audio systems in my spare time. Several surround-sound systems and an electrocution later, my audiophilia persists. I own three high-end MP3 players and a Zune, have a 5.1 system set up around my dorm-room desk, and always choose very carefully when it comes to headphones. One may say that there are more important things to spend my money on. I’d just look them straight in the eyes and tell them they’re right. There are more important things for me to spend my money on. But, I mean, audio is so cool. Clearly, I have a very strong relationship with the recording industry. Indeed, audio has its own claim to fame in the world of mass media. “The first major media convergence involved the relationship between the sound recording and radio industries” (Media & Culture 73). As I’ve said, I’ve listened to numerous distinct styles of music today. (Sadly, my Movits! album has ended. No more Swedish hip-hop.) I woke up to a recorded track this morning, and plan on repeating that tomorrow. In other words, without the sound recording industry and its long, full history, I would probably still be in bed right now. Not being productive. Comfortable under the covers. Asleep. Stupid sound recording industry.

The sleeve that comes with the Zune fits the iPod touch perfectly. It does not, however, fit the Zune. Thanks, Microsoft.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.cellphones.ca/news/post002744/)

I wouldn’t be in college right now – and would probably still be in bed – if not for magazines. My dad has been in the publishing industry for many years, and currently publishes the leading restaurant magazine. So magazines are pretty darn important to my family. That said, there are also those publications that the world could do without. Personally, I would rather learn about what’s happening in the real world than what’s happening in Hollywood. Will Ferrell, I don’t care if you stubbed your toe. Ben Affleck, I don’t care how many Jennifers you’ve slept with. And, really, I don’t care how many facelifts you’ve had, [insert name of female celebrity here]. People magazine, I care that you exist. When do you plan on declaring bankruptcy? My interaction with magazines today? Nothing directly, not besides berating popular culture. However, indirectly, magazines helped pay for the computer I’m writing with, and without magazines, I wouldn’t be here writing this paper. I used to subscribe to several different publications, including National Geographic and, when I was younger, Muse, but I no longer receive magazines in the mail. Though my connection to most magazines has been severed, I do still pick them up when given the opportunity. Over break, for example, I read through some of my grandmother’s collection of New Yorkers. One part of the magazine industry that I definitely appreciate is that, though “magazines are a major part of the cluttered media landscape… good magazines also maintain our connection to words, sustaining their vital role in an increasingly electronic and digital culture” (Media & Culture 309).

I did not have difficulty finding an image of Will Ferrell screaming.

(Photo courtesy of http://ramascreen.com/tag/will-ferrell/)

The final major form of mass media ironically finishes last in this memoir. What may appear to be a dying breed, newspapers are far from extinct. They’re adapting. In North America alone more than 1,500 dailies had their own website by 2009. Some of these charge readers to view content, others are free. But “newspapers are truly taking advantage of the flexibility the Internet offers” (Media & Culture 274). On the Web, papers can link to relevant sites, show videos, and, since they don’t have to worry about newsprint costs, they can feature longer stories and more editorials. Despite this switch to digital, however, papers are losing advertising dollars. “In 2009 alone, print ad revenue fell another 25 to 35 percent at many newspapers” (Media & Culture 274). What do I think about newspapers? I love them. I much prefer to get a physical copy, on which I can write notes, complete the puzzles, and draw mustaches on politicians I don’t like. Nobody wants to write on a computer screen, touch screens aside. I am of the same school of thought that many also apply to books: I like holding the physical copy. I like reading from paper. Plus I’m making a giant ball from the rubber bands that come wrapped around the protective plastic cover. Today, I read the daily comics my mother cut out and sent me. Later I’ll do the puzzles. What’s not to love about newspaper comics and a good crossword?

What, too soon?

(Photo courtesy of http://blog.linkeditsolutions.com/category/other/)

So, that’s a day in my media life. Media affect me, and they effect everyone. Done properly, they’re one of the key ingredients of a healthy democracy, keeping people informed on events and ideas that may affect them in some way. They also speed up information transfer, which means Cousin Callum in California can receive a message from Auntie Annabel in Ann Arbor in a second or less. The power of media in communications is vast. “A digital reinvention of oral culture” (Media & Culture 8), e-mail was once seen as the epitome of instant communication. Before that, there was the telephone, and before that, the telegraph. Now, e-mail is still very much in use, as is the telephone (what was the third one?). However, with Facebook chat, various forms of IM, and real-time video conferencing, even e-mail is beginning to look out-of-date. What will be the next form of media, and, more importantly, how long will it take for me to invent it?

Telepathy: New from Google.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/10/how-to-make-people-believe-in-telepathy.php)

The Manifesto on Restaurant Business

My analysis of Restaurant Business for Media & Society. Again, for those of you not affiliated with the class, you'll find more below.

Restaurant Business: Street Smarts for the Entrepreneur

THESIS – As Restaurant Business is funded largely through advertisements designed for their entrepreneurial readership, a major part of their thesis is what is said in the ads. For example, an advertisement showing a picture of beef proclaims that this is the best beef. The magazine’s general thesis is that they can help small restaurant chains and single-unit operations gain clientele and maximize profits.

BRAIN – The magazine, which contains many ads with big, full-color photographs of food, appeals largely to the limbic brain. The juicy meats and perfectly ripe vegetables make the audience think, “Wow, this could be really good.” The ads also use words to appeal to the reptilian brain’s eating response, such as “satisfying,” “gourmet,” and “irresistible freshness.” The facts and stories appeal to the neocortex, making the reader think about what the oil spill’s effect on seafood was and how social media is changing the restaurant industry.

TRENDS – The magazine has an up-to-date website that is both engaging and appealing, which is an example of the aesthetic shift from discrete to convergence. Restaurant Business and several other affiliate magazines recently merged with CSP Information Group, showing an economic shift. The subjective ads and various reviews are part of the discursive shift from objective to subjective.

FIVE FACTS –

1.) The CDC found that most people consume more than twice the daily maximum of 1,500 mg of sodium recommended by the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans.

2.) “Spain is especially rich in good inexpensive wines.”

3.) “No Worcestershire sauce is more versatile than the original, Lea & Perrins."

4.) “9 out of 10 patrons say Pillsbury biscuits are as good or better than homemade.”

5.) S.M.A.R.T. Restaurant Group’s employee’s mission is to “Make the guests say ‘Wow!’”

PRINCIPLES – The full-page ads with large, bold photographs are very effective. The sharp, modern, “hip” look of the magazine – which was redesigned several years ago – also makes a big impact. These production techniques really grab the reader’s attention and make full use of the audience’s time. Emotional transfer strongly shows in the ads, which make viewers hungry for the tender meat and crisp fruits placed before them. After viewing these advertisements, each reader must decide his or her own individual meaning of the ads.

PERSUASIVE TECHNIQUES – Many of the stories feature quotes from important individuals in various fields, such as marketers and restaurant executives. These testimonials help to make the stories more credible. Several of the ads, such as the Stanislaus Food Products’ tomato ad, mention the company’s existence in a previous time (such as 1942 for Stanislaus), an example of nostalgia. The “beautiful person” on the cover is an example of beautiful people. He makes people want to read the magazine.

(Photo: Restaurant Business's annual "Future 50" feature, where they highlight major up-and-coming restaurants. Courtesy of http://www.monkeydish.com/images/RB-cover-July09.jpg.)

6.) The Manifesto on New Uses for Old Letters

Before I begin, I… hold on, brb.

All right, before I begin, I want to say that I very much dislike the abbreviation “brb.” Along with all of its other “Internet speak” counterparts, such as “lol,” “roflmao,” and “hbu.” Why do you type that you're laughing out loud? As a writer, I find difficulty in believing that this is what we’re coming to. Language is organic, always changing, but now it’s changing faster than it ever has before. In a single generation, with essentially a single invention, English has gone from long, tedious words like “thank you” to much simpler, easy-to-say words like “ty.” Wait, that’s not a word. That’s the company that made Beanie Babies. Personally, I think the point is very much defeated when you abbreviate a common courtesy to two letters. “Oh, wow, $2.4 million? TY!” See? Even capitalized and with an exclamation mark, it still sounds bad. If my long-lost step-uncle twice removed died under an asteroid and left me $2.4 million, I wouldn’t go to his funeral and say, “Hey, ty.” And I don’t think his will attorney would say, “Son, I’m sure if he were still on this earth, he would say yw.”

In my expert opinion – because I am an expert on my opinions – Interspeak makes the Interspeaker look uneducated. While I know that’s not true – hey, I just looked on Google, and both Interspeak and Interspeaker are actual things. Cool. Where was I? Ah, yes. While I know that Interspeakers are functionally illiterate, I still can’t feel bad for them. I mean, I may spend seven hours a day on Facebook, but I haven’t stooped to this level. Yet. Pray I never do. Did you know that Iceland has a 100% literacy rate? I wonder what the Internet’s literacy rate is?

I'm sorry, were you making a point? I was too busy laughing to notice.

(Image courtesy of http://mattdunlap.org/)

Abbreviations aren’t the only part of Interspeak. Punctuation, capitalization, and other nonessential parts of grammar are also going out the metaphorical window. In fact, they’ve been kicked out the metaphorical service entrance behind a small inner-city restaurant. Many a meme is founded on this concept. I don’t think I need to bore you with a lecture on memes, as you probably already know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, follow the links. But the lack of capitalization of “I,” writing “and” for “a” (which I still don’t understand), and leaving out periods really annoy me. Here is a sample sentence:

“hi how are you..i am good. did you get teh mesage I sent u. its and really good message, i think ull like it? brb kk im back. u miss me…i did. hey guess wut im teaching english as a 2nd langage 2mrow bye!”

This has got to stop. I really don’t understand how people (ppl?) can get by writing like this. After writing that last sntence I think i may be succumbing to interspeak? ttyl! Mnfsto, OWT.

Media has converged here.

5.) The Manifesto on Things That Go Great Together

The iPad is Apple’s version of Apple’s version of the MP3 player. In other words, there are very few differences between the iPad and iPod touch. Yes, “touch” is lower-case, as Apple still refuses to follow English conventions (for example, “go great together”). Both the iPad and iPod touch have touch screens, Internet access, and more applications than there are whales in Wales. That’s right. Infinitely more. If, of course, you don't count the ocean, which is where whales typically live. If you count the ocean, then there is quite a plethora of whales in Wales. By which I mean the iPad and iPod touch are virtually identical. But there is one amazing difference that really sets the iPad apart from its semi-identical twin – the price.

The iPad is a wonderful tool. It is useful, handy, functional, and any other synonym for “it gets the job done.” Apple has really outdone themselves this time. They’ve shown the world that their followers are both money-loaded and gullible. Before I continue, I must say that I myself am an Apple fan. I write on a MacBook Pro, have an iPod, and use iTunes for most of my music and video purchases. However, that does not stop me from seeing the humor in a giant iPod touch.

In the iPad’s defense, I should probably point out some of the features. First, it has a beautiful screen that costs approximately a dollar per pixel. Viewing games, the Web, and e-mail has never been so rewarding. (The reward, by the way comes from all the manual labor you’ll be doing to pay off your bank loan.) The device has started a revolution – Apple has set the standards for the “I-want-it-but-don’t-want-to-pay-for-it” category of expensive and extraneous objects that cost 30 times the price of a GameStop GameCube. They’ve always been pioneers.

$700 really didn't seem like a fair price. So I looked online, and came across Stuart Hughes's golden iPad. It's 22 carat gold with 53 diamonds making up the Apple logo. $190,000. Now, there's a fair price.

(Photo courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1278857/The-solid-gold-iPad-set-130-000.html)

If somebody were to come up to me and say, “Here, have an iPad,” I wouldn’t complain. I might wonder as to the credibility of some random guy walking up to me and shoving a box in my hands, but I still wouldn’t complain. At least, not until the police report. The point is, I would very much love to have an iPad. And I’m not alone. A recent study showed that 97% of Americans would accept an iPad from a stranger/would be willing to pay half price/would be more willing to pay a quarter price/just really want an iPad. Another study that I also just made up argued that, while the previous study has some credibility, 97 just so happens to also be the percentage of statistics that are fabricated. Therefore, argues this study (Yes, et al. 2010), 97% is 62% as likely as 49% of all statistics that are 73% made up. The latter study was widely discredited after the discovery that the researchers could neither formulate coherent data nor finish grammatically correct sentences. They were promptly taken out and shot.

The iPad: Proving beyond a doubt that Apple fanboys will buy anything. Manifesto, OUT.

Media has converged here.

4.) The Manifesto on the Modern Miracles of Mobile Media

So, you think you’re so cool, what with your BlackBerry or iPhone or Droid? Well, it turns out that you are. These three smartphone families make up 90% of the total smartphone market. And we all know that to be cool you have to conform to arbitrary standards set by large companies. However, as it turns out, if you’ve got a BlackBerry, you may be in trouble. Research in Motion (R.I.M.), the maker of the BlackBerry, saw a decrease in market share, from 55% in the first quarter of last year to 41% a year later. iOS and Droid, however, rose from 23% to 49% in the same period. What does all this mean, you may ask? It means that the world’s gone mobile.

All right, cards on the table. I will admit that I myself… have a BlackBerry. I know, I know. We’re losing out to your iPhones and Droids. But there’s hope. I just don’t know what it is. But the good news for all mobile devices is that mobile browsing is on the rise. It may still only account for 2.8% of all browsing, but the Mobi-Web – as it’s been called since I unwittingly ripped it off from mobiweb.mobi - may very well be the next Internet Explorer. Oh, wait. I meant Chrome, Firefox, Safari, Opera, decaying logs, or basically anything else that works remotely well. But I must hand it to Microsoft. It’s not easy to make a device to raise blood pressure and command 49% of the web browsing market at the same time.

I personally think that a much better way to view the Web is on the epitome of “I-want-it-but-I-don’t-want-to-pay-for-it” devices: Apple’s iPad. I will write more on the iPad later, but for now, just remember that it’s a 4:1 scale model of the iPod touch, which for some reason has defied any attempts to capitalize anything but the second letter. The iPad has a beautiful screen. Why would anybody want to watch a YouTube video on the cramped, lower-res display of my soon-to-be-obsolete BlackBerry Curve, ancient at a year old? (By the way, I love my BlackBerry. Get one now.) The iPad really lends itself to Web-viewing, to the extent that someone at Apple said, “Hey, you know how we can make this more expensive? Give it 3G.” And now, we can view a Web page anywhere there’s Internet access, as well as in certain parts of Vermont. With a device like that, why would anybody worth more than $5 million use anything else?

But, what does all this really mean? It means that mobile devices – Pads ‘n’ Pods included – are rapidly gaining a place in the web-browsing game. While console browsing remains steady, the handheld Net gets bigger and bigger. 2.8% may not seem like a lot, but my guess is that in just a few years, that number will be significantly higher. Almost as high as the percentage of people who risk liver failure every time they log on to their application with the same initials as “ingeniously evil” or “insidious experiment” or “ibex everlasting.” I could go on, but for now, Manifesto, OUT.

Media had converged here.

(Photo courtesy of http://blog.monty.de/?cat=7)

Camp Champ Radio Spot: The Manifesto is on the Air

Jeremy: Champlain College. With breathtaking views of Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains, Champlain College is a hidden gem nestled within Burlington, Vermont. While unconventional with its upside-down curriculum, Champlain is one of the most community-oriented schools in the country. Its three-dimensional learning program incorporates community learning with the unique "Life Experiences and Action Dimension." US News and World Report named Champlain on the "Top Up-and-Coming" schools in the nation. Champlain is both a progressive and spirited college. Don't believe us? Ask a student.

Leslie: Camp Champ is amazing. The people, the atmosphere, and the majors are all part of the amazingness. Even the sweatpants are comfy! Everyone is so friendly. The classes are challenging, not brutal. The food is edible, not disgusting. The professors are awesome, especially if they raise yaks or have a British accent.

Jeremy: In the few short weeks I've been here, Champlain College has given me much more than I could have asked for. I've got a wide array of friends from many different backgrounds, teachers who all have their own little quirks, and the coolest dorm I've ever seen. That's right. I live in a Victorian mansion. There is no such thing as a square building at Champlain. The architecture is almost as great as the academics, and, considering the fact that there's a veritable castle for a dorm just down the street, that's saying a lot.

Kelly: Transferring to Champlain was the best decision I ever made! I mean what's not to love? The beautiful location, the small, intimate classes, the knowledgeable, easy-to-reach professors, and the guarantee that there's always something fun going on around campus. For these reasons and countless more are why I chose Champlain. There's no other place like it!

Lindsey: Champlain. A little strange at times, but they take care of their own and give you the best college experience possible. They are ready and welcoming with open arms. Let Us Dare. Audeamus.

3.) The Manifesto on the Convenience of Amazon.com and Other Greedy Capitalist Schemes

“[Jeff Bezos] started Amazon.com, so named because search engines like Yahoo! listed categories in alphabetical order, putting Amazon near the top of the list.”

Isn’t online shopping wonderful? The magical one-click purchase, the “shopping cart,” the potential for free shipping, buying things without your parents knowing until the package arrives in the mail and you tell them there are no returns or exchanges? You can add a myriad things to your wish list, then distribute said list to everyone you know who has any likelihood of getting you a birthday present. You can get used textbooks for half off, including convenient annotations for use on tests. What can’t you do? Ooh, ooh, let me answer this one! Um, you can’t have any human interaction. Before you go on about how this really isn’t necessary, as you’ve lived for nine years in your basement with nothing but a computer to call “company,” let me say something. People matter almost as much as machines do. In fact, I would make the bold statement that people matter more than machines do. I know, daring, isn’t it? Besides, I personally like giving small businesses my patronage before they file for bankruptcy and are bought by Wal-Mart.

Amazon.com is a wonderful thing, and I am by no means claiming I never use it. I love Amazon. I do a lot of my shopping online. But I also like to see other members of my species while fumbling for my debit card. And swiping a card is so much easier than memorizing all those numbers and giving each one to some site called www.scameras.com.

Amazon.com is an equal opportunity employer. They hire people like this guy who have suffered severe media-related head injuries and think that loading boxes onto a forklift is the coolest thing ever.

(Photo courtesy of www.nytimes.com)

To link all this back to mass media, Amazon.com and other online retailers are putting small media-related chains out of business. For example, when I was born – in 1991 – there were 5,100 independent bookstores. Now, there are only 2,200. They also dropped from 31% to 12% market share between 1991 and 2009. Online book sales, however, constituted 21% to 30% of the market by 2008 (Media & Culture 2011). While online sellers are often cheaper, more convenient, and better-stocked than single-unit stores, they are also significantly more impersonal. In fact, they are infinitely more impersonal. Why? Because even 0.00000001 personal units is infinitely more than zero. That’s called math. The equation can be written as:

0.00000001 PU / 0 PU = { }

Division by zero has infinitely many answers, and, since that means it cannot be a function, which is how this equation is set up, the answer is undefined, and therefore there is no solution. By extrapolation, we see that the problem of online booksellers stealing market share away from good, honest independents has no solution. So there. Manifesto, OUT.

Media has converged here.

2.) The Manifesto on the Rising Cost of Words

"To oppose chains, many [independent bookstores] have formed regional or statewide groups to plan survival tactics."

But wait. Yes, books are awesome, and yes, they can take you to places and times that you’re not very likely to go to – like the 60s – but I want to point something out from the last post. The fact that four books cost me seventy dollars. And those weren’t even expensive books. They were in the normal book price range of between fifteen and seventeen dollars, plus tax. Four average-priced books cost me more than twice what I can buy a GameCube plus accessories for at GameStop. That’s not right. Yes, you can generally buy eBooks for less than a physical copy, but how do you sign an eBook? If you honestly don’t know, I’ll tell you. You can’t. It’s not possible. Not unless you take a pen to the screen, which wouldn’t be a lot of fun for reading any other book. The rising cost of print material has gone beyond annoying. Can you imaging telling someone from the 1930s that you can’t believe you paid two dollars for a used hardcover at a library book sale? He’ll think you’re saying you paid way too much. No. You paid next to nothing. It’s. Not. Fair. I am beginning to see why some people don’t read. Maybe I can market illiteracy as the new money-saver. “Hey, I skipped school, and now I make infinitely more than I spend on reading material.” That’ll show em’. Manifesto, OUT.

Media has converged here.

(Photo: Bill Gates after he bought the Codex Leicester, the most expensive book ever sold. Courtesy of http://www.worldinterestingfacts.com/lifestyle/the-most-expensive-book-ever-sold-codex-leicester.html)